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Book Review: The Wait by Devon Franklin and Meagan Good

     "Waiting has nothing to do with lying back and hoping that good things find you. It's about putting aside distractions, using your gifts, and becoming someone God can trust to bless with great opportunities and wonderful people." -Devon Franklin and Meagan Good

       Released in February 2016 The Wait was a highly anticipated book. It went on to sell several thousands of copies and land a spot on the New York Times Best Seller list! Co-written by the high profile couple, actress Meagan Good and movie producer/pastor Devon Franklin, the book attracted a wide variety of people. From Christians wanting to learn the secret to abstinence to those just curious about the celebrity duo's relationship. When they started dating and throughout their engagement they began speaking about practicing celibacy and keeping God at the center of their relationship. Due to the sex appeal of Meagan Good and her sometimes risqué attire many were skeptical as to how the two were managing to not have sex. After seeing all the curiosity from the media and even people in their own personal lives they got the idea to write a book that would help others to "achieve the love of their life and the life they love". 

      When I got the book I ordered a hard cover and immediately loved the cover that I had seen on social media and various places several times before. It's as if you can feel the happiness through the photo! I also saw that it had 243 pages. Including 9 chapters that were intentionally divided up into smaller sections and categories. Because of the different divisions in the chapter, double spaced sized formatting and decent sized font it was a very easy read. Each page was very smooth and they included sections with direct perspectives from the both of them. Since I followed their journey somewhat I basically read the book in their voices and it really made me feel like I was talking to them. The language was straight forward, conversational and the tone was relaxed. 

      The power couple's choice to practice celibacy happened individually and before they were even dating. Meagan had been celibate and re-vamping her relationship with God while Devon had been on his journey of practicing the wait for over TEN YEARS when they started seeing each other! Prior to reading the book at the start of June I had watched many interviews with the two of them discussing their philosophies that were in the book so I knew a little bit of what I would be finding in the book already. However, it still had some elements that surprised me, the book was very transparent and discussed personal issues that I had never even heard of! For example, Meagan Good's smoking habit and marriage counseling sessions that were hard to get through.

     I knew I would like the book but not nearly as much as I did once I read it. For the first

time I actually highlighted and wrote notes in a book that wasn't for school. They had great quotes on almost every page that stood out or made me think. Especially since I am on the journey of waiting for marriage myself it was definitely impactful and a must read for anyone else who is on their purity walk. One of the aspects that I liked the most was that it was broken down and touched so many subject areas. Some sections are geared toward singles, some for married people, some more specifically for men, and others with a focus on women. The book encompassed helpful anecdotes and words of advice for any step in the process you might be in right now. They touched bases with all different stages in a relationship that a person could find themselves in and still managed to sprinkle their knowledge evenly. The tone was never all-knowing or judgmental so I liked that part about it too. There is nothing worse than someone who thinks they know it all.

      They genuinely wrote the book to help people and shine a light on what many young people are struggling with. I encourage you all to read this book and let yourself learn from it. There is always a helpful lesson from someone else's story.

Comment below and let me know your thoughts on the book after you read it!

XOXO Pure Jess

Check out my new website www.purejess.com coming June 20th

Pure Challenge #3

    For this week the Pure Challenge is to write your own declarations! Declaring positive things over your life and constantly speaking a message of faith is very important! Many churches across the world use declarations during their services to help set the atmosphere for God and prepare their congregation for a powerful word. It's important to not only do this on Sunday mornings but also every day! 

  I enjoy doing declarations so much that it's been on my mind to actually write some for myself. Although there are already thousands of declarations out there that you can find on the internet or in books I know that you can reach an even deeper level when you tailor declarations to your life specifically. As Christians we have to be intentional in our movements and all the things that we do, by making declarative statements with your needs in mind it's going to help create strongholds around you and keep out any thoughts of fear and doubt.

Pure Tip: Having some "go-to" key phrases that you can use at any time to speak against the enemy or stressful situations that come up during your day will help cut out negativity and enhance your day by helping you walk by faith!

Step 1: Brainstorm

     Start deciding what thing you want to speak over your life by listing things that you are having trouble with. For example if you struggle with your health you may write a declaration like "I will be strong and healthy" or "I am healed" 

Step 2: Narrow them down
     The ideal size for your daily declarations is 15-25 lines. Of course they can be as long as you want them to be but challenge yourself to reduce the amount of lines if you feel the declaration is getting to long. Sometimes some of your lines may be included from the same prpose and you only need one!

Step 3: Make your final copy
     Just like when writing an essay you have drafts but once you know what you want to say and have the lines in an order that you're happy with be sure to type/write them up nicely so you can put them on your wall and see them daily!

Step 4: Send a copy of your daily declarations to Pure Jess
    I would love to read the declarations that you all come up with! You can post them on my Facebook page (Pure Jess) , #PureChallenge under a picture on Instagram, or post them on Twitter and tag me @PureJess_

Step 5: Start speaking them daily! 
   After you have these declarations you want to be sure to use these declarative statements every day! Repetition is key and speaking them with conviction is also important! Make sure you repeat them daily!

***See my declarations below***

XOXO Pure Jess

Make sure to comment and follow me if you enjoyed this post!
If this is your first time visiting read my post Introduction to Pure Jess
For a video discussing what Pure Challenge is watch Intro to Pure Challenge/Pure Challenge 1

Rose Discussion #8: Don't Sweat the Small People

    This is for all the girls that feel like they don't fit in, you're not alone! Maybe you're just in the select few! I know this video ran a little long but the scriptures and motivation are at the end lol! Sorry if it's choppy I had to cut it down to be as short as possible because the original cut was a little would've had you sitting here for too long!
    I titled it "Don't Sweat the Small People" because on your journey you'll meet a lot of people that are not much in the grand scheme. Don't let their negativity affect you!
   To see my Rose Discussions 1-7 you can visit my YouTube page (Jessica Mbuyamba) or go to my Facebook (www.facebook.com/purejess1). Don't forget to LIKE and SUBSCRIBE so that you'll get all the updates! I have some really exciting things coming this summer!

XOXO Pure Jess

Pure Challenge #2

Happy Tuesday! 

***If you're unfamiliar with the "Pure Challenge" then definitely check out my Introduction to Pure Challenge Video and blog post from 4/12/16!***

I hope you are really excited for Pure Challenge #2! Last week I had you all wake up every morning and give God your first hour of the day so that you could start to build or continue to maintain a strong relationship with Him. Before I introduce this week's challenge I want you to read the following poem by Paul Laurence Dunbar called We Wear the Mask

We Wear the Mask

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BY PAUL LAURENCE DUNBAR

We wear the mask that grins and lies, 

It hides our cheeks and shades our eyes,— 

This debt we pay to human guile; 

With torn and bleeding hearts we smile, 

And mouth with myriad subtleties. 

Why should the world be over-wise, 

In counting all our tears and sighs? 

Nay, let them only see us, while 

       We wear the mask. 

We smile, but, O great Christ, our cries 

To thee from tortured souls arise. 

We sing, but oh the clay is vile 

Beneath our feet, and long the mile; 

But let the world dream otherwise, 

       We wear the mask!

   This poem means a lot to me because it was introduced to me in High School during a time that I was "wearing a mask" and trying to keep everything together on the outside despite how bad I was truly feeling on the inside. It's so important that as women we love ourselves, except ourselves, and feel free to let out our emotions so that we can move forward. The enemy can prey on those trapped feelings in our minds! A person that isn't happy on the inside is not a happy person. If you aren't happy then how can you spread God's love and happiness to others? It all starts with you. We were created in his image and our bodies are temples inside and out. Stress does not do a body good and I know from experience that keeping it together on the outside while you fall a part on the inside stifles growth. 

          The Pure Challenge is to spend time appreciating yourself and working on whatever may be happening on the inside. If you don't focus on yourself and work on loving yourself how will someone else see your worth and value if you don't feel it from within on your own. Feeling good and knowing you're "far more precious than rubies", is sometimes a key in the walk of saving yourself for marriage because you can't be in the habit of letting anyone reduce you to low standards. But if you already reduce yourself mentally then it isn't a hard task. 

        Some exercises to do and practice on this week that might be hard to do but beneficial in the long run are:

1. Looking in the mirror and pointing out the things you love about yourself/body. 95% of women think about how they hate their body at least once a day. Let's become that 5% and shout out what we love!

2. Give 3 compliments to women that you don't know. Giving genuine compliments to people is prone to increase happiness. Also jealousy can hold us all back, when you see something beautiful about someone else don't feel like it's a competition.

3. Exercise, eat something nutritious, and/or do something that will make your body healthier. Seeing some positive results or just feeling better is a great way to tackle any angst against your body.

4. Get your nails done, splurge on a new outfit, learn a make up tip and/or pamper yourself. Taking time to relax and unwind can help for more productivity the next day. Don't let yourself get burnt out. Everyone needs a break. 

5. Get a journal a write out your emotions. Sometimes writing things out on paper and looking at everything helps sort out your thoughts easier and get everything out. Some people even find it therapeutic to write their negative thoughts down and then burn them!

6. Take some time to work on your dreams! If there is a book you want to write, a YouTube channel you wanted to start, a blog to create or a business to jump start then start making it a reality! There is no faith without works, getting started today is the best way to avoid never starting! Once you see your progress and success it will give you the visual opportunity to see how great you are!

7. Talk to the Lord about your pain. Whether that be something physical that you are having trouble accepting, or a battle that you are fighting emotionally it's important to lay your stress on Him. He can put your mind at ease. As I said before we were made in His image. "You are his masterpiece". He made everyone beautiful :) Don't let an Instagram Model make you feel sub-par. 

     Take off that mask and have your regular spirit be everything you want it to be! I hope this Pure Challenge works wonders for all of you! You have 7 days to complete some of the above suggestions! Definitely tag me on Twitter/ Instagram @PureJess_ or #PureChallege! Also feel free to post to my Facebook page because I want to see every new outfit, hear about all the compliments you gave, and stay in the loop with all the progress! Have a fabulous week Roses!

XOXO Pure Jess

Pure Challenge Intro & Pure Challenge #1

***Click the YouTube Button to watch this video on YouTube and subscribe to my channel :)     Hey guys! I hope your week is going well! I just wanted to announce to you all that starting this week I am kicking off a new aspect of Pure Jess called the Pure Challenge!

Each week I will be giving you guys a 7-day challenge to complete for the week to help you get closer to God, be more productive, and just better yourself as a whole! The challenges will run from Tuesday to Tuesday! :) 
    Most weeks the challenge will coincide with my video or blog posts and other weeks they'll be something more basic like reading a chapter in the Bible each day. I can't wait for each week to progress so you all can be participating in the challenges! As you go through your week definitely make sure you're posting on the Pure Jess Facebook page and tweeting with the #PureChallenge on Twitter! For Week 1 (starting tomorrow 4/13/16) the Pure Challenge is to wake up each day an hour early and spend time with the Lord! Be sure to watch the video for the full explanation and watch until the end to hear some of my tips for building a relationship with God!

XOXO Pure Jess

Don't Play Yourself

     When someone shows you who they are believe them. Stop falling in love with "potential" or only reminiscing on the good times when a guy starts showing bad signals. Most destructive guys in your life and even bad friends are just distractions, sent to slowly lead you down the wrong path. God has a plan for you but you have to pursue him and be focused. You have to be ready to get his confirmation and discover what he has in store for you. 
     Are you actively pursuing God right now? Or are you actively pursuing a man right now? Even worse a man that isn't even showing you any dedication or commitment. Remember that God created you for a purpose. Don't let someone define you and take away the value that you deserve. 
   If a guy has an IPhone 6 and claims he didn't get your message are you really going to believe that.... if you know he dm's* 50 girls a day with the same exact same lines are you just going to take those scraps..... When someone approaches you incorrectly are you going to lower your standards and just let the situation continue? Don't be gullible or sweep things under the rug! We have to focus on God and move toward things to enhance our lives and live the way he intends us to. The right person will come at the right time.
   God is not sending you a man that doesn't respect you, God is not going to send you a man you can't trust, and God is definitely not sending you someone that is involved with other women, so take these negative signs and turn away from guys that are only going to lead you to temptation and lust! You don't need that in your life and the Devil would love to see you fail. 
Pure Tip: Realize that a man's "rejecting you" is sometimes God protecting you. If someone doesn't recognize what you have to give then don't chase after them. 
  You have nothing to prove.... NEVER forget your value and keep it in mind when you go through your day. It's important to respect yourself and be careful with the moves you make. If you know God wouldn't match you with the person you're in a relationship with then what are you doing? Don't set yourself up for heartbreak, don't waste your OWN time that you can't get back, and never reduce yourself to the low standards of our perverse world.
   We are a peculiar people (Titus 2:14) .... act like it! Never put up with foolishness and begin surrounding yourself with like minded individuals, you'll be surprised how your problems decrease. 
   When you give someone your time and they waste it it's never a good feeling. But it's an even worse feeling when you know that in the beginning you already knew you were stepping into something toxic.
    Think about this as you deal with different situations and people this week... especially guys. Don't let yourself get played or manipulated! Guard your heart

XOXO Pure Jess

If you liked this piece then check out What Motivates me to Wait or learn more about me by watching my video 12 Questions About Pure Jess. Also be sure to check back later this week for my next post!

*Dm's- Direct Messages (usually on a social media platform such as Twitter or Instagram)