Why I Wear A Purity Ring

    When I was a sophomore in high school I was a part of a girls mentoring program. During one of the monthly meetings a lot of our advisers shared their different stories and experiences in relationships. Most of them said they had sex too young or before marriage and regretted it. But, one woman stood out. This adviser,who was usually very quiet, shared her story and really left an impact on me. She explained that when she was 15 she made a promise to herself and started wearing a purity ring. She was able to keep that commitment and never removed her purity ring until she was engaged. She was very candid with the group about how hard it was but then talked about the special moment that she was able to have with her husband on their wedding day.
     Her story came out so genuine and so sweet. I had never heard anyone talk about saving themselves in that way. Of course in school they always throw out abstinence and I had had the "sex talk" with my Mom but something about the way the idea was being presented by this woman actually grabbed my attention.
     Prior to this experience I was always sure that when the "right long-term boyfriend" came along I would definitely be having sex with him  because.... "that's what people do". But after having heard this story it made me wonder if waiting for marriage and a purity ring was the right move for me. I went to YouTube and watched a few videos of girls talking about their purity rings but ultimately decided not to get one at the time because I didn't want to start wearing a ring and then be questioned about my virginity. I wasn't ashamed of it but I hadn't even been kissed and felt really concerned about what people would think about this ring. I didn't want anyone to think I was crazy or weird.
     Even though I decided not to get a purity ring at that time the story always stayed in the back of my head. It didn't become relevant again until my senior year. I had been getting really strong in my faith and my views on relationships were beginning to change. For the first time my church was offering a purity course and I was really excited to take it. Partly because I wanted to learn more about purity and partly out of curiosity. I wasn't sure how much I was actually going to take away from this class but I didn't have anything to lose. After the 8 week course I felt very sure that it was for the best that I wait for marriage. After all the Biblical study, real life research and stories from different women in the church I had several reasons for wanting to wait. I did get a purity ring at the end of the course but I didn't start wearing it because I felt unsure about actually promising God that I would wait. Vowing to God about anything is serious and I didn't want to tell him I was going to do something that I wasn't. Even though I truly did want to wait I wasn't convinced that I really could. I hadn't been kissed, been in any relationships or experienced that much so I doubted that I could control myself once I got in these situations. I mean come on, why would "everyone" be having sex if it was easy to wait for marriage.
    This brings me to my first semester in college during Summer 2015. I could write a whole book on the events that took place with me and my new friends during just six weeks. But, anyway for the purposes of this blog post just know that by the time Summer B ended I was completely convinced that sex ruled everything and there was going to be no hope of me having a boyfriend or a life without it. I continued through Fall semester still thinking this way and really trying to figure out what I was going to do. As I saw my friends relationships all I saw was v-cards being lost and body counts being increased, In the back on my head I felt like it was just a matter of time before the same thing happened to me too. I went on a few dates but luckily nothing ever happened. As much as I wanted to be carefree I just couldn't do it. Saving myself, the purity course, and visions of God looking down on me prevented me from going too far.
     After I had time away from my friends and my college surroundings during winter break I really had a lot of time to reflect. Conversations with my family and even thoughts to myself solidified that I really wanted to wait. Prayer time gave me a new found confidence that not only could I do it but it was the best choice for my life in the long-run. I had dreams of writing a book on Purity, giving motivational speeches and staying in-line with the plans that God has for my life, so the choice was clear.On tv and in the media sex is so over-glorified, they rarely show the severity of the damage that it causes women and young girls after the fact. I had witnessed guys breaking up with my friends after sex, pregnancy scares and more in an extremely short period and after seeing the emotional damage it became even more obvious to me that the Bible and Gods will is right. I tried to deny it and push it out of my mind but the rules said in the Bible are there to protect us.
      You have to guard yourself and be careful. It's so obvious that we as people were meant to only have one sexual partner in life. As that number increases and increases it gives you unwanted ties with people that have to be left in the past. You can't give your body to a boyfriend and people you barely know. Sex is losing it's meaning, but it was created to bind two people as one and consummate a marriage, rather or not someone wants to acknowledge that is on them. I knew I had to make my own choices, set my own standards, and keep them high for my own well being. I didn't want to be that girl crying on the phone at 3:00am after sex, getting broken up with when a guy was bored of my body, having to visit the doctor and get tested for an STD.... God forbid my period comes late and I'm forced to buy a pregnancy test from the campus clinic. Not to mention the conversation I would have to have with my Mom, future husband, or even my future daughter about why I let lust run my decisions.
      There's so much to loose when you give yourself away and after such a revelation I couldn't continue lying to myself any longer.
So I used my Christmas money and got a purity ring that I would be happy to wear everyday. It signifies my vow to God to save myself for marriage but also my commitment to myself to keep my goals and future in mind. Distractions and outside influences can so quickly poison the mind when you aren't focused on the right things and I didn't want to be so susceptible anymore. One false move and I could've easily joined the club of many that "accidentally had sex", so I had to get focused.
Pure Tip: Leave time in your day for self reflection! That personal time will help give you clarity.
      A ring can't technically stop you from doing anything, in fact I know someone that wore a purity ring, started having sex, and still continued to wear her ring as she increased her number of partners. So don't think that getting one is the equivalent to a chastity belt. But, it does help as a daily reminder of your promise. Even though you can make the commitment to God and yourself without any tangible evidence. It's all what you deem is best for your life. For me there are no coincidences and having a purity ring  has been in my mind for years so I just had to get one and at least try it out. Things fell into place so perfectly and I felt like God was guiding my path right to this decision. So far it's one of the best choices I've ever made!
     Comment below and let me know how this post made you feel and if you have any additional questions about purity rings. I'm definitely planning on doing a purity ring Q&A soon! Thanks so much for reading!

XOXO Pure Jess


P.S. The photos attached to this post are my actual Purity Ring! I got it from Pandora!

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